Synergy
Welcome to "Synergy" with your hosts, Daniel and Alicia!
Join us as we delve into the intricacies of relationships, parenting, business and the power of human connection.
In this podcast, we explore the dynamics that make relationships and businesses thrive and discuss practical tips and insights for creating synergy in your personal and professional life.
We bring a unique blend of expertise and personal experiences to the table. As business owners with team, being in a relationship together, and parents ourselves, we have dedicated our lives to understanding the building blocks of successful relationships and effective parenting. Each episode, we engage in thought-provoking conversations, sharing stories, strategies, and advice to help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the joys of connection.
In this podcast, we explore the dynamics that make relationships and businesses thrive and discuss practical tips and insights for creating synergy in your personal and professional life. Whether you're a couple looking to strengthen your bond, partners in business, a parent seeking guidance on raising happy and resilient children, or simply someone interested in deepening your connections with others, this podcast is for you.
We explore effective communication techniques to examining the role of trust and vulnerability in relationships, we leave no stone unturned. We also invite special guests from all facets of life, who bring their unique perspectives and share their wisdom and practical insights.
Get ready to be inspired, informed, and uplifted as Daniel and Alicia guide you on this transformative journey of love, parenting, and human connection. Elevating your human experience.
Synergy
Mastering Your Inner Stutter With Karim Bokter
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Meet Karim Bokta, the mindset coach who's unlocking extraordinary potential in high-performing executives and entrepreneurs by addressing what he calls their "inner stutter." In this captivating conversation, Karim takes us through his remarkable journey from coaching surgeons in operating rooms to facing his own business collapse and subsequent transformation.
Karim's story begins with a powerful moment of crisis—curled up in a ball, experiencing panic attacks as his restaurant business faltered despite his MBA education and business experience. This breaking point led him to discover that conventional business strategies weren't his problem. The missing piece was understanding how the subconscious mind drives 90% of our behavior while most people operate solely from conscious awareness.
Through vivid examples and personal revelations, Karim explains how childhood experiences between ages zero to seven create our "model of the world" that can later sabotage success. He details how many entrepreneurs develop specific patterns around money, control, and trust based on early programming that consciously they'd never choose. His advanced hypnosis techniques access these deeper patterns, creating breakthroughs where traditional business coaching fails.
The conversation delves into fascinating territory, exploring why fear of success often outweighs fear of failure, how CEOs' trust issues cascade through entire organizations, and why hiring people smarter than yourself triggers resistance in many leaders. Karim shares a moving success story of transforming a Swedish entrepreneur's pizza truck into an award-winning restaurant by healing childhood abandonment wounds.
Whether you're struggling with scaling your business, experiencing recurring patterns of self-sabotage, or simply curious about the powerful forces driving your decisions, this episode offers profound insights into breaking free from your "inner stutter" and stepping into your fullest potential. Don't miss Karim's practical wisdom on achieving true synergy between your conscious goals and subconscious programming.
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One, two, three, four. Welcome to Synergy, the podcast where we uncover the secrets to successful relationships, effective leadership and transformative parenting. I'm your host, Alicia.
Speaker 2:And I'm Dan, and we'll deep dive into relationships, friendships and, most importantly, the relationship we have with ourselves. Together, we'll explore different strategies, techniques and approaches that can help you achieve synergy in every aspect of your life.
Speaker 1:Stay curious, keep learning and embrace the power of synergy.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to another episode of Synergy.
Speaker 1:We have an incredible guest this episode. His name's Karim Bokta. He helps high-performing executives, business owners and entrepreneurs conquer the hidden force holding them back, which he calls their inner stutter. Through his signature Bokta method, karim uncovers the subconscious patterns that create hesitation, anxiety and self-sabotage, so his clients can move forward with clarity and confidence. As seen on TEDx, auspreneur, the Australian Business Journal and Inspire, karim is the go-to guide for those who've tried it all but still feel stuck. He helps you get out of your own way so you can become who you really truly are meant to be.
Speaker 2:Today we have a mindset coach Karim, Thanks for coming down.
Speaker 3:Thanks for being here, thanks for having me I want to start off by asking what got you into this field? Well, I was in surgery with surgeons, so I used to coach surgeons how to use our surgical products. So I'll be in there watching surgeons open up people and I'll be coaching them on how to use our products, and then, behind the scenes, I'd actually understand what's going on with surgeons in my, in my, thought process, surgeons were like you know the gods you know yeah, they're on like billions of dollars.
Speaker 3:You know they're driving nice cars, they've got the best life, but it's not what you actually see, what's happening behind the scenes. They're getting treated like shit by the nurses in the hospital, all those types of things, and I'm like man these guys are like gods on by the nurses in the hospital, all those types of things, and I'm like man. These guys are like gods on the, you know in the hospital.
Speaker 3:They're saving people's lives and they're highly stressed, highly burnt out and no one's really looking after these guys and I think that played a role in what I was going to be doing after in life, because I left that world. It was highly stressful on me, too, of accounts and I'm like I can't do this anymore. I was doing that for four years and then I'm like well, my wife's pregnant now. I really want more time with my wife. I want more time with my son. Why don't I just start up a business, right?
Speaker 3:little did I know as soon as I started, I had less of both.
Speaker 2:I need less of both. I knew less money and less time.
Speaker 3:So, as soon as my wife gave birth to our first child, which was my son, it was the same week that we settled into the new business. It was a restaurant cafe. And I remember thinking that this is going to be a piece of cake. I've started up businesses in the past. I've just finished my MBA. This is going to be cool, easy.
Speaker 4:The little that I know is that I didn't put kids in the equation Right.
Speaker 3:So my son had colic and we didn't even know. We didn't even know what it was. So it's basically a digestive issue that kids have. They can't digest certain proteins. For him it was cow's milk and he was waking up every 30 minutes, so that meant that we were also waking up. I was going into work already on the back foot, sleep deprived, and for a long time I didn't know, but I had used sleep as a coping mechanism for my anxiety. I'd have a lot of naps, I would sleep in, take a lot of vitamins, my energy, all those types of things, and slowly but surely I couldn't leave. My team and my business started to spiral down and I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to do everything that I know about, I'm going to hire a business coach.
Speaker 3:I'm going to, you know, do all the best marketing and everything that I did didn't work and it got worse and worse. And um yeah, one day alex found me curled up into a ball. I was having a panic attack and crying because we were at that stage where I was so frightened because I wasn't able to pay rent and pay wages.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 3:I thought to myself I'm a bad father, I'm a bad husband. Not only that, my parents came from Egypt with nothing and the help set up a life for us and I felt like we were just going backwards. And all this pressure and all this stuff started coming up for me and I'm like. I'm like a failure. And then one day I was just feeling sorry for myself on the couch. I took the day off, in my jocks probably, and I was just flicking through Netflix and I ended up watching Tony Robbins Before that I was like you know universe?
Speaker 3:God, give me a sign.
Speaker 2:I just need something, something Just give me something and had you had much business mentorship prior to that moment? That's all I knew is business, dad was a big businessman.
Speaker 3:I loved business. You know, I loved all that kind of thing, but I didn't really understand, okay, so why it wasn't like yeah, I thought it was just luck.
Speaker 4:Bad luck.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like the universe was against me. You know why are my friends driving around in the best cars, and you know why am I still?
Speaker 2:sitting in your jocks watching net.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah why me yeah?
Speaker 2:yeah, right, and so, um, once you know you got to that moment of, I guess, the, that failure point and and watching Tony Robbins, what, what did that? Um? Was that a significant shift for you?
Speaker 3:it wasn't a, but it created curiosity in that moment. So I'm thinking, man, this guy is helping so many people in such little time. I'm really resonating with him. What did he study?
Speaker 4:I want to learn.
Speaker 3:I loved learning. I was like a sponge. I always loved personal development. So I just researched what did Tony Williams do in programming? And I'm like okay. Robbins do in programming and I'm like, okay, best schools in Australia for you. And then, yeah, just had a look then.
Speaker 3:Then I started and then other other ads started coming up as well for other personal development stuff the algorithm got ya like John Demartini yep right, so I started watching his stuff and then I enrolled in the Demartini Yep Right and so I started watching his stuff and then I enrolled in the Demartini process and that met my mind away. I'm like what did you just say? I remember when he was first signing people on. He's like oh yeah, our days start from like 8am to like 8pm. I've got like ADD, I've got ants in my pants. My wife can't even get me for like 10 minutes.
Speaker 3:I'll go from 8 to 808. Yeah, right, anyway. So I started huffing and puffing around in my eyes. I'm like you know what, I'm going to do something different. So I signed up. And as soon as he opened his mouth, I was glued to every word that he was saying, Because it was like everything that I had thought about. He was actually just saying it in real life.
Speaker 4:And like mind-blowing things that he was actually saying.
Speaker 3:And I remember going through the process with him and at that time I had a really racy mind, really bad anxiety, uh, really a lot of chatter in my in my head, and I did this process with him and it was like us in a group other like 10 or 20 people and he asked me something, something so profound. All he, all he asked me was Karim, what was the benefit? Was the benefit that you found was a drawback? I'm talking about me. It's no benefit, right? I was traumatised, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm holding on to that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And he's like, are you sure? And then we went through the process and it was like something snapped, something just blew up in my brain in a good way, and it was like all the noise that I'd had, that I'd had just was so quiet and I could finally, without this raciness and without all the chatter and what the hell just happened. I've never experienced something. And then I'm like, oh, it's tangible. So I went to explore and then I started doing it and then I wanted more um, and when I was doing all this stuff.
Speaker 3:It's so funny because my business started to increase, the revenue started to go up and I'm like what the hell's going on here? I've just finished my mba. I've finished spending a hundred thousand dollars, apparently what that was meant to help with my business, but nothing in the manual said go here when this is happening and this was part of so to answer.
Speaker 3:I know that I'll probably answer in a long round no, no, that's great but this was the reason why is because I feel like a lot of professionals, a lot of executives, a lot of business owners need to know this. It's the, it's the it's the it's the missing link that's possibly holding and and if you were to articulate what that link is, what?
Speaker 2:what is it? What's the missing piece for business owners that are, say, burying their head in the sand?
Speaker 3:um, they think that it's nothing else other than just what they are aware of sort of like this and I have to use analogies because it's really hard to define other than so you can drive to work um, without even knowing that you've ever driven you can drive there and I don't remember driving here, yeah so I want you to really take that into account.
Speaker 3:right, you have to weave through traffic. You have to indicate left, indicate right, avoid semi-trailers. So if you went driving and met your subconscious why you're thinking about last night's dinner why you're thinking about. You know why you had that argument, why your wife or why your husband said this or that You're on autopilot.
Speaker 4:You're on autopilot.
Speaker 3:You're on autopilot and people go through life on autopilot. Business owners, executives everyone humans. Every human has a subconscious mind, and people don't even know what that is. This isn't woo. This is science. It's based on hard facts, but people don't even know that it even exists, and it contributes to 90 percent of people's behavior, and people are just operating from a conscious level, and so the thing that people have to understand is that they're driving through life on autopilot.
Speaker 3:They're doing the same old shit day in and day out and they get to the end of the year, driven to the end of the year, and think how the hell did I get here? Why?
Speaker 2:aren't I home? When you mention that bit about the conscious mind and the subconscious mind, it always reminds me of that diagram of the iceberg and I think that is probably the simplest form of explaining the difference between the conscious and the subconscious mind that our active part sits at the bottom, but there's this whole world at the bottom of storing information, traumas, everything sitting in there, traumas, everything sitting in there. Do you think, or have you ever thought, that the subconscious mind is linked to universe source and that's where that channel of information comes through, or do you think that that's a conscious mind link?
Speaker 3:I think there's a third part which is source. So I think it goes conscious, subconscious, and then you've got source, which is a third part. But we don't really talk about what we we haven't really learned that in NLP. I just talk about conscious and subconscious, and source is more spiritual, right I?
Speaker 4:think that's the next level, but you're 100% right.
Speaker 3:There is more so. Religions talk about this right, and they talk about source, and they talk about source and they talk about it in terms of god, um, whether you're religious or not, um, people, people will identify them as being spiritual, regardless of what their religion is. Like me, I grew up, uh, as a, as a christian, um, went to church, you know all that kind of thing, but something inside of me and that was my spirituality, my connection with whether that be God, the universe, whatever it is, and that's just a whole other thing on its own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because I look at things like intuition and things like that and think the source of intuition is that, a subconscious mind process that it's giving to the conscious mind that, hey, this is about to happen from a, I guess, protection perspective, but then also from a driving visual perspective, of like, when I think about business, I think about those spiritual messages that come through you in terms of act on this, you know, and that in terms of intuition, and I think of the origin of that. Is that already within us or is that something that is being passed to us to do something with?
Speaker 3:Both, both. It's sort of like the answer of you can have a look at a circle.
Speaker 4:There's no start and no end and humans are trying to make sense of what comes first and what doesn't come first.
Speaker 3:I don't think we need that understanding yet.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I think it's both. I think, and even trying to think about it like this doesn't really serve us. So, I think, just understanding that it's there the source, whether it be God or whatever it is it comes from source.
Speaker 3:First, you also have this source within yourself. All religions talk about this. They talk about God being within you, and I'm a big believer of that. We have pieces of God within us and when people understand this, it becomes a game changer, because people think that you know little me. I'm just a human Outside of us, everything's outside of us. I'm not that unique. I'm not that unique. I'm not that special.
Speaker 2:Is that where the essence of creation sits for you, in terms of knowing that that source is within?
Speaker 3:you. We are creators within ourselves, so if we have God's presence within us, then we can also create. And what stops us from, the thing that stops us from being stuck, is feeling like that we are not good enough, or that we're not deserving, or that. Oh, you know, this isn't me, it's an identity.
Speaker 2:Yeah right, work with what percentage of them, would you say are all about the hard work and the doing part of what needs to be done to get the needle to move, versus the percentage that are open to things happening for them without force and and uh pushing so, depending on where they are in their journey, I probably don't have conversations about higher consciousness source and all those types of things.
Speaker 3:I would have lost them, they would kick me out, yeah this is my business, this is my numbers yeah and so I have to really identify as, and let them know, is that I'm not a business coach. I used to be I used to be business consultant and what I found is that business consulting wasn't really the thing that needed to be addressed first. Yeah, I was missing the mark all the time it was their mindset. So I have to go in with the language of really speaking their language, speaking about numbers, speaking about mindset, all those things that they are aware of and that they understand.
Speaker 2:Before you introduce a new lever.
Speaker 3:Before I introduce anything else and some people are like but it's also, I have to respect other people's world. I have to respect other people's universe. If they're not spiritual, then I'm not going to go in there and talk about spirituality.
Speaker 2:Even though I know business.
Speaker 3:life is a spiritual journey, but people just if they want to talk about each other yeah yeah, and I'm not doing anything with them yeah, so you, you do hypnosis as well so when I, when I first came out of doing the work that I'm doing, my pitch took like five or ten minutes because I didn't know who the hell I was and people were lost after like eight seconds. I'm like dude, I don't know what the hell you're saying what are you doing?
Speaker 4:What do you actually do?
Speaker 3:And I'm like I don't fucking know. So that in itself, because I had to, like no one was doing this, so I had to go out and create my own thing and I'm like, okay, I've done all these courses and I've got all these tools, what's the thing that people actually know? People know hypnosis.
Speaker 1:People are scared of hypnosis, but people are also scared of hypnosis.
Speaker 4:But it was a thing that really created.
Speaker 3:So yeah, at the start I started calling myself a business hypnotherapist. You At the start.
Speaker 2:I started calling myself a business hypnotherapist. You invented a role.
Speaker 3:I had to just create something. Yeah, People were like are you pulling my leg?
Speaker 2:Don't look into my eyes, yeah.
Speaker 3:Right and people were like is he mucking around? Is he actually one of those people?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the pendulum, the pendulum thing makes you fall asleep and I'm like yeah, I'm that guy, yeah, it makes you fall asleep and I'm like, yeah, I'm like oh yeah, I find it's either people think that or they think of the shows, the hypnosis shows. Yeah, I'm going to end up clucking like a chicken.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Or they say, oh, you know, I did that to quit smoking. Yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, cool. And it's sad how like it's only perceived as that because it's so powerful yeah, uh, it's beyond that.
Speaker 1:Yes, like it's. Yeah, it's way beyond that. We're shifting to levels that you can't access in.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah and um, every, every like billion dollar business uses marketing to tap into people's subconscious. People don't even know that. So yeah, so that was my journey. And then, you know, I then became now I'm a performance coach. So I help people get to the next level, but I use advanced hypnosis.
Speaker 2:I call it advanced hypnosis because it's not like normal hypnosis. I was going to say what's the difference between the stock standard hypnosis and the advanced hypnosis? I was going to say what's the difference between the stock standard hypnosis and the advanced hypnosis?
Speaker 3:the stock- standard hypnosis is someone you know, someone can do like a week or two week course. Right, they'll read a script and that's hypnosis get your certification, stick it on your wall.
Speaker 2:Stick it on your wall to become a hypnotherapist.
Speaker 3:A hypnotherapist, yeah so you know, and it's typical, like smoking, weight loss, all those types of things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And it's very like hit and miss, whereas I include everything that I've, all the tools that I've learnt and been taught, and include it into so things like timeline therapy all into one, because I knew that those things had weaknesses within himself, yeah, okay, and I'm like, okay, well, how do I address those?
Speaker 2:so yeah, and is this something that's taught or this is something that you have through your experience of discovering your personal development journey, that you've put that into to create um advanced hypnosis?
Speaker 3:it's something that I've created.
Speaker 2:Probably down the line I'll probably teach it yeah but at the moment it's just building up my personal brand um all that kind of thing um to create breakthroughs for people so could you explain so for the people that you work with say some business owners and things like that what sort of things would they be experiencing prior coming to you versus post going through so a?
Speaker 3:typical thing would be like Karim, I can't scale. I'm like okay, so can you tell me more about that? And they would have hired a business coach. They would have hired a consultant and the consultant will go in and give them strategies on how to scale their business and for whatever reason the business always finds themselves back in the same why, okay?
Speaker 3:so if we understand the person at the top of the business they're the people who are driving the bus and if their belief is all about control, then they can't scale. Why do they love control? So it's going down that rabbit hole of why do people do the things that they do? Mostly is because there is a belief that they can't give up this certain project or certain.
Speaker 4:It needs them. It needs them because no one else can do it like them and it comes from a level of fear.
Speaker 3:I'm working with so many professionals, not just business owners, but a lot of executives yeah um. So there are five key emotions that hold us back, and there are five key emotions that make us create negative decisions anger, sadness and then people don't even know that emotions create decisions. The number one emotion that holds people back from success is fear. A fear of success or a fear of failure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so common. It's more common than fear of failure. I've seen, yeah, people don't even know that.
Speaker 2:From my experience that one really only comes about and discovered through questioning. It's not like you know. You have a fear of success, because to say that you're fearful of success at a surface level sounds pretty stupid, especially if you're an entrepreneur, business owner and you're striving for wealth creation, all these sorts of things. Why is it that you'd be afraid of?
Speaker 3:success. You know, of course I want that. How can you be telling me this? I I've invested so much in this. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But can we talk about, like, what are some of the things that I guess hang off the fear of a success? As to why it is a fear, yeah.
Speaker 3:So, from the ages of zero to seven, we create our model of the world, our real, our own reality, and often, when I'm speaking to entrepreneurs or speaking highly successful people, they've got this pattern of having a lot of money and then spending a lot of money, having it and then letting but even if they don't do, that there is this level of what if I lose it all there's all this constant fear and they're just constantly like going to zero going to zero or these types of things, and what I found is that usually, growing up for them, they grew up with humble beginnings or they've seen a really bad, unhealthy relationship with money growing, and so your subconscious is always looking for it, and so if there's no familiarity now about having a healthy relationship with money, then it's going to go back to its default.
Speaker 3:The subconscious doesn't understand.
Speaker 4:There's no morality, it's just information as far as it's concerned, so as an example with me.
Speaker 3:I grew up in housing conditions. I grew up with a lot of scarcity. We didn't know where we were going to get the next meal from. Although my parents were beautiful and they tried to shield us. I could feel it as a child.
Speaker 3:Energetically tried to, you know, shield us. I could feel it as a child, energetically. You know um half the reason why I was so. I was 140 kilos growing up because I still had that scarcity mindset and I had to finish everything off because, you know, my mom was like you know what if make sure you finish everything off your plate, all those types of things, just in case in reality, you know, just go to maccasin that's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the next meal's going to come.
Speaker 1:Yeah right. But that wasn't their model of the world.
Speaker 3:That wasn't their model of the world, and so I grew up with a model of the world which really held me back, so I was more focused around saving money.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I was more focused around scarcity, scarcity, and so I wasn't focused around creation, and so, because of this, my world was around losing things and protecting things and always being in fear.
Speaker 4:Holding on to things.
Speaker 3:Holding on to things, hoarding all those types of things, and so I had to create it, because I had to make it believable for me, and this is what I created. I created a world that wasn't never enough. I created a world that was highly stressful, anxious.
Speaker 1:You needed evidence to back up your beliefs.
Speaker 2:And also is that because that's what was comfortable, and familiar in your subconscious right?
Speaker 3:And if someone came to me and said Karim, you don't really need to do this, this is real. And so it took a lot of untightening of the closed jar, because I really held that jar closed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because that was my life. I needed to protect my belief. And who are you to tell me that it can be a lot easier?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not easy. It's not easy. I've seen that with my own eyes. It can't be easy Life can't be that easy.
Speaker 3:Business can't be easy. Life can't be that easy. Business can't be that easy. Success can't be that easy. Letting go of things can't be that easy. All these beliefs, I was riddled with them.
Speaker 2:So what was the thing that made you open the jar?
Speaker 3:That moment when I was curling up into a ball and I thought to myself by then I had done a little bit of reading around being a good parent and personal development and I didn't want my son to take to myself by then I had done. I had done a little bit of reading around um, being a good parent and personal development and I didn't want my son to take on my shit. He was just born. I'm like he's born into this world. Who am I to pass on my shitty? And I'm like now it's my responsibility. I don't want to pass on and I started. I started to investigate and do the work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think this is the thing that comes with awareness, and I think kids having kids, I know for me amplified that thought and that belief. It's like once you're consciously aware that things get passed down through genes and you can literally break that trend for your family and you look at your son, daughter in front of you and go well it. I've actually got to make a choice now as to whether I'm gonna continue on with this or or stop it here.
Speaker 1:um, there's such a development journey within that that serves generations to come, you know so I think as well, if we loop back, like what Dr Demartini said to you, like that question of what was the question?
Speaker 3:What was the benefit?
Speaker 1:What was the benefit of that? I think, with beliefs, what we don't realise is it benefited us for a certain amount of time and it's like until we can go, until we want to go to that next level like with the people that you're working with, want to go to that next level, like with the people that you're working with, want to go to the next level, and those beliefs and those patterns don't serve them for that next level, and there's some that needs to be broken away and rewritten in order to go to that next stage.
Speaker 3:Yeah, If you wanted to protect this idea or belief, then no matter how many times I work with you, it's not going to shift. No, so I've come to learn that I only work with people that actually want change.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've actually learned that too. I've learned it in the way of like I can know that this will work for you so badly. But at the same time, unless you've come to me and you've asked me to help you I mean, it's the first rule of NMP, right? But I think sometimes as coaches especially new, like in the newer stages you just want to help everyone.
Speaker 2:You're like oh no, this could help you.
Speaker 1:I've created this and it can help you, but unless they're coming to you with a mind of like, I need this and I need to change, and this is what I want to use in order to get that to happen. I think, no matter what it is, if you're open to change, whatever you do next will work, do you know?
Speaker 2:what I mean Because you're open to that.
Speaker 1:But when you're working with people who you're approaching, you're like, hey, it's like where's the permission? Like you've got to ask permission.
Speaker 2:Like do you want to think? That's part of the personal development journey, though, as well? Like because I think when you learn a new thing or a new skill set or a new tool, or like you go and learn hypnosis for the first time, it's like can I hypnotize the world?
Speaker 2:you know like yeah you know, or like, you get this new shiny object, the tool that's for transformation. And I think one of the greatest things about being a peak performance coach, a relationship coach, no matter what you're serving people in is seeing the transformation in people, the person facilitating that. There is a feeling that that gets delivered to the person doing it. That feels really good.
Speaker 2:So I think when you learn that new tool, you're like fucking try this, try this, mate, and you know, and it takes everyone needs this, you get a tool yeah, and it takes some time to humble yourself and go okay, you going back to that rule of NLP of like having to be asked for help in order to help somebody, I think has, you know, been really key. But I know in my own journey there's been times where it's just like, oh fuck, this is a new sword, I'm going to fucking swing this around everywhere you know.
Speaker 1:But that's also another I feel like as a learning about yourself. It's like, why do you feel the need to give that to everybody as well? That's something I learned, yeah.
Speaker 2:When I look at that at a deeper level, I'm like there's a significance piece in that.
Speaker 4:That in itself is a learning. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It's like why do I feel the need to go? And hit everyone with hypnosis.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as an example, I was working with a lady and she said the number one trait that I hate with spies and others is that when they're like, okay, cool.
Speaker 4:So tell me about in your relationships.
Speaker 3:who are the people that you like to be with? I'm always finding that I'm in relationships with people that I like that need saving, so where are you showing control in that?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I never thought of it like that. So what she was seeing in others as you know, people controlling her she was doing the exact and she owns that exact same trait. And so when we go out of the woodwork trying to help others and they're like why doesn't this person want help, why doesn't there is something going on with you, yeah and it's usually around surrendering and letting people just live out what they need yeah and also allowing yourself to be loved.
Speaker 3:just to be loved yeah, not to ask um you yeah, not to ask you know that type of validation, yeah. So there's a lot like even in that little piece. There is just so much to unpack.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so much. What's the typical timeframe that you'd work with a business owner to get them to scale their business or to work on their mindset? Because for me, like I mean mean when I think of it it's really a never-ending journey, because with every new level comes a new layer if you knew every new devil is a new every new level is a new devil. Yeah, so it depends on what they want.
Speaker 3:What's their outcome? If it's a tangible outcome. As an example, you know I want to earn, say, 20s yeah it's a many years and that's just like an open-ended thing, right, depending on where their journey is, but if it's something like, okay, well for us to get to that $20 million, what's holding you back? Maybe, there is that fear.
Speaker 2:Can I ask in that is there a part where you ask them who do you need to become in order to be that person? Yeah, who do you need to become, and then what do you need to become in order to be that person? Yeah, who do you need to become? And then what do you need to let go of? And when you think about a scale of that magnitude, what are the key indicators that people need to let go of in order to have a $20 million business? It's all around scale.
Speaker 3:It's all about letting go, it's all about bringing on the right people that are in your circle, because typically and it could be like a hundred reasons why it's not it's not getting to that level but it essentially comes down to you the best leader, and thinking of it like there are foxes that are wanting to come into your chicken farm right and every now and again you bring in the wrong people and they're the fox yeah.
Speaker 3:So how do we inspire you to be the best leader, to bring in the best people that align with your subconscious values? At the same time, and a lot of the reasons um why there's a lot of friction within a business is because as an example example, one person will be the leader of the business. Like we're talking about beliefs and subconscious right now. Right, that's one person.
Speaker 2:In an organisation and if you think about an organisation.
Speaker 3:They may have 100 people. Every person has their own universe and their own thoughts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, their own beliefs and their own values. Their own beliefs, their own values and their own thoughts. Yeah, their own beliefs and their own values. Their own beliefs, their own values.
Speaker 3:So the first thing that I do is to make sure that everyone is aligning at the same value.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 3:So if the business wants to go to $20 million, what if, like 20 of the people that are in there have a really bad relationship with money? Yep, and they're all holding back the business by not billing people, by not working efficiently, by overworking and doing things that shouldn't be doing because it's not earning revenue. All these things are moving parts that we're not even aware of.
Speaker 3:They'll ask them the random, same old question in the interviews tell me about an experience, about how you did this. They don't get into what's really important, and those are the values that sit in people's subconscious.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Are the subconscious values. Can they be different to conscious values?
Speaker 3:Yes, so consciously. As an example, when I was overweight, I thought that I was healthy, right. Because I was doing all the things consciously but subconsciously that wasn't the case, or business owners consciously know that they need to fire someone who's toxic.
Speaker 4:Yep.
Speaker 3:But subconsciously maybe they're seeing abandoned women maybe that person reminds them of their dad and they don't want to let them go. But consciously they're like yeah, for sure, man, we let go of people who don't perform. But really are you the behaviour's not showing. The behaviour's not showing that or they're thinking but this guy's our top earning person, so we have to leave them on. But in all other aspects they're so toxic within the business they're like a cancer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and everyone leaves because of them. How prevalent's that in the sales department of businesses.
Speaker 3:Oh it's yeah, it's messed yeah so.
Speaker 2:Because you've got the opposite side, like one side of what you're saying makes me think about. Okay, if somebody's got a problem with money and they're in a role where they should be chasing up invoices and getting companies to pay, they're going to feel a level of conflict in asking sniper that's out there just trying to ping deals and get things over the line with. You know might be no morality just to get a deal, to get their commissions or whatever it is. How did how do those two things play out in?
Speaker 3:well, it's chaos, as you can see. Yeah, right, it's like. Well, now I understand that it's not a strategy problem.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right, yeah, and then you got this business owner going.
Speaker 2:Oh no, $20 million business and you've got all these things.
Speaker 3:Now you can actually see what's happening in front of them, and a lot of them people don't want to swallow the hard pill to swallow because then it's like where do I even start with this? It's like which arm do I have to amputate first?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, yeah, you know where do I clean up?
Speaker 3:I don't have time, I don't have the energy, I don't have the resources. Yeah, I could just hear all the digital people out there going this is why we have ai, yeah and um.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like you know a lot of businesses are stepping away from working with people some, but it's what they're actually seeing is the thing? It's not within that person, it's within themselves, Mirror, mirror, it's mirror, mirror, Like. Why can't like? If that person can't stand up to that toxic salesperson, I guarantee you that when he goes home he's not standing up to his wife.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That he doesn't have boundaries Right.
Speaker 4:So how you do one thing you do all.
Speaker 3:And yeah, it's just playing out over and over.
Speaker 4:Your subconscious doesn't know the difference between life and business.
Speaker 1:It just plays out everywhere. I think as well, like a part of your story which stood out to me was when you said you were sitting on the couch and you were like I have to do something different.
Speaker 1:Oh no, sorry, when you said Dr Demartini said from 8 to 8 pm and you were resisted to that, but you said I'm going to do something different. I listened to Tony Robbins one time and he said about a two millimetres shift and that for me felt like that two millimetre shift where he was, like he said he was playing golf one time and he said his foot was out like two millimetres and he just could not go straight. He couldn't do it straight and he got the best coach in the world and he said just put your foot two millimeters to the left and he's like come on.
Speaker 4:Really. Why didn't I think of that?
Speaker 1:yeah, and he's like that's not gonna work. He's like try it and see if it works. He said put two millimeters to the left and, sure enough, it went straight. And he said that's the same with life. And I feel like that was a moment, maybe for you, where it's like that two millimeter shift caused a whole new trajectory of life. Yeah, and it doesn't need to be like when you think about organizations. It doesn't really need to be like a big oh my god, what do we do next?
Speaker 1:and this is it could be like a two millimeter shift, like getting rid of that fox. Yeah, changes everything. It changes the whole dynamic within the company.
Speaker 2:And then, it builds up trust again right.
Speaker 3:It's like now. I know this person actually knows what's actually wrong with an organ. Now I feel safe. There's a lot of talk around psychological safety, where people are just leaving left, right and centre, because there's none of that.
Speaker 2:Big from an employment perspective because workers aren't feeling secure in their.
Speaker 3:They're not feeling secure and they're not feeling safe, and even even with the new laws that are coming out around, you know you can't message oh, outside of work and yeah, yeah yeah. So there's a lot around psychological safety and it's a big topic. Yeah, because, um, if you're good, then people are leaving. Yeah and yeah, but that's another topic. I would say, do you?
Speaker 1:feel like there's a lot of uh, you know, ceos of companies that have trust issues, kind of goes it, kind of can. What am I trying to say? That can play out in the hiring of people leading a team, the trust kind of the trust issues. Like you said, if there's someone at the top that has trust issues, then that's going to trickle down into the entire company.
Speaker 3:They're going to micromanage. They're going to really understand. And they're going to burn out as well, and they're going to think why can't I perform and why can't my business perform? You're hiring people that with um trust issues, you're hiring people that has have less knowledge than them. You should be doing the opposite.
Speaker 4:You know there's a saying that you should be the dumbest person.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you should be hiring people better than you. Yeah, and you should just be sitting back and it'll happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you yeah that really comes back to a controlled journey too, though. Hey, in terms of like not because I know I've been guilty of this in my own business of like wanting to teach people, so therefore hire people that aren't smarter than you, so it fulfills that need of being able to teach. But in terms of moving the organization forward faster, it'd be much better recruiting up than recruiting down, you know, um with the people that you've worked with.
Speaker 1:is there one that comes to mind that is like a massive transformation? Yeah, you were just like who's your trophy person?
Speaker 2:That's amazing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I had this one guy who came from Sweden. He lives in Sweden and he's like Karim. I've got a business. It's a small pizza truck, but I can't scale. So we got talking. He had a really bad trip.
Speaker 3:I think he had ayahuasca oh yeah, like years before and he wanted to learn a lot about himself, he loved personal development and he thought ayahuasca was the thing and it gave him a really bad trip, put him into like really bad triggers and all that kind of thing. And then, uh, we came to really peel, peel back the onion and he had a lot of uh control issues. Uh, he needed to do everything on his own and we, what we understood, is that, um, and this is on my instagram, by the way, so I can talk about this really, because he allowed me to to um publish it.
Speaker 3:Um. What we found is that he had abandonment wounds from his dad, so his dad left him a boy and he felt like nobody loves me. I can't trust anyone to protect myself, and so since then he couldn't really even in his business as he grew old. Like this is him as a boy and he's taken that belief all the way up until today and he couldn't scale his business.
Speaker 3:But then we did the work. We did a lot of subconscious work, a lot of healing. I asked him to go with um. One of the things that I ask people to do if their parents are still alive is to go back and make um. I didn't know, but his dad was a famous swedish rock star oh wow.
Speaker 3:So I'm like cool um, so, yeah, so after that moment that he went into his dad, he's like I really need to speak to you. I'm like, all right, cool. He's like it was one of the most profound moments because he was crying, I was crying and not a lot of time that has to be crying right.
Speaker 3:That's a bit dramatic, but for him it was a beautiful moment and I could see the shift in his face and and then from there he became. He started working on his business and he went from a small pizza truck and he went into a shop and I'm not sure if you guys know about the business world in Sweden, but it's very hard. Everything's way expensive. You get taxed more than Australia more than Australia.
Speaker 2:No, no fucking way, that's not possible wages are through the roof laws.
Speaker 3:Uh, you know like it's really really hard to have a successful business, but he ended up um having one of the best pizza shops in sweden. Um, and he was a two-time entrepreneur of the Euro.
Speaker 2:Oh, cool yeah wow, that's just one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but since then I've found that I'm moving away from business owners and more into executives, yeah, and more into elites. So probably the next thing after this would be into sports.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say sports, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:But this is my journey too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, who do you like working with?
Speaker 3:To be honest, who I love working with is that person who's really struggling, who has a kind heart and is wanting to do the best. And then they don't necessarily have to be a CEO.
Speaker 4:And I do a lot of these actually I do a lot of pro bonos where?
Speaker 3:they've got PTSD or they've got really bad anxiety. They can't, they're just really struggling and they're the people, and they're the people that are also at the same time, that are really thankful and grateful and that they're my. They're people that I would have friendships with for the rest of my life?
Speaker 2:yeah, friendships for the rest of my life? Yeah, yeah. They're the people that I really love.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not to say that I really love working with the executives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but there's always your highlight people.
Speaker 3:They're the people that really fill my cup yeah. And not only more for them, but more for their kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I can give like if I work with a parent who's also struggling what I love hearing is not how I've been able to do it. It's that when the kids are telling them hey, mum, I can see that you are.
Speaker 2:I love you.
Speaker 3:You've changed, you've got more time for me, you're more patient. These types of things, that's the stuff that really gets home for me.
Speaker 2:That's real change. Yeah, beautiful. So good, I was going to ask you also in terms of your own business. So good, I was going to ask you also in terms of your own business where do you go to for your learnings and your own development?
Speaker 3:So at the start, man, look people that don't you know if this is on like a sound or audio.
Speaker 2:I'm an.
Speaker 3:Arab, right yeah, getting into this whole person development world was like a whole bunch of like woo-woo, rah-rah, like yeah, you know how are you making money out of this. Yeah, is this a scam I want in but even when I was first doing this, like I remember, um joining the john dimitini, he was asking for thousands of dollars, like this this guy's on crack like what do you mean?
Speaker 3:yeah, like I don't spend that much money like yeah I, I buy what. I'd buy something for like 50 bucks and they'll be like expensive. Yeah, yeah, I shop at kmart and this guy wants uh. For like three days he wanted like three grand or three and a half grand. I'm like mate, like a lot of my internal chatter was saying kareem don't spend this money. Don't spend this money. You know're not going to get it, and I was even trying to bargain him.
Speaker 2:Really went back to your room.
Speaker 1:I was about to say, getting back to your room. He's like that's not really how it works.
Speaker 2:It's not a market, Karim.
Speaker 3:And that's how these guys play. They're not selling, they're buying. So if you're not in their world, they don't want you anyway, yeah and a lot of this thing was coming up around saving money. You know, like I really need to make sure that I'm spending it on the right thing, to make sure that all this angst and fear was really holding me back and this was the thing that I was saying in the show is that I need to do things. You know what I'm gonna do it and I won't tell you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, one step is I'll do it and then I'm not right. I'm not going to try and justify how I've spent it or all the orders types of things.
Speaker 3:I'm just going to do it. Yeah, and that was the pivotal moment. Is that? Oh my gosh, there's a whole nother world that people aren't listening they're working with. This is where the elite are right I'm in like scarcity mode. You know save two dollars. You know save $2,. You know, always on the lookout, always discounting. I was focusing on the wrong thing. I wasn't focusing on solution and growth. And so since then, like I remember at one point I had seven coaches.
Speaker 2:So you went from one extreme, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like an extremist, right yeah, I'm like a terrorist. One extreme yeah, yeah, I'm like an extremist, right yeah, I'm like a terrorist.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like an addict. I went from one extreme like hang on, if I can work, if I can just put money into this machine, which is me, and things go faster. What happens if I put more money into?
Speaker 4:this machine, yeah. So the more money that I start earning, I'm like, okay, well, money loves speed, yeah, and speed loves money.
Speaker 3:And I just started learning hyper-learning by hiring coaches that are way ahead of me, so I can learn and I can be coachable as well.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, nice.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I love. So yeah, I have my own coaches on many different subjects. I've got one for speaking, one for strategy, one for LinkedIn.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:One for social. Like every topic I've hired a coach for yeah, yeah Great.
Speaker 2:Cool Mate, I love it yeah.
Speaker 1:Awesome, I think that's. We're going to wrap it up there. Cool. Mate, thank you for coming in today. Awesome, we're going to wrap it up there, cool.
Speaker 2:Mate, thank you for coming in today.
Speaker 1:Thank, you so much Thanks for having me. That was awesome, thank you.
Speaker 4:Awesome, we'll wrap it up.
Speaker 1:We'll have it on another time, because that's what generally happens is we don't get enough in the one session. So much curiosity. Part two, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's cool, thanks, thank you.
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